Successful mentors know that by being consistent, reliable and making and keeping promises, they build trust with their mentoring partner – the first step in the mentoring relationship.
By reaching out and being available, asking the right questions at the right time and engaging in honest conversations with your mentee, you create a safe environment for your mentee to test assumptions and beliefs about life outside the walls of the classroom.
Here are some tips for building a good relationship with your mentee.
1. Share your own personal stories and experiences.
There is enormous value and learning attached to storytelling and the sharing of experiences. Consider sharing what has worked for you as opposed to telling your mentee what to do. It is just as important to share what didn’t work for you, too. Our stories often provide clarity and make it easier for young people to make decisions.
2. Explore your communication and learning styles.
If you knew that your your mentee had a natural tendency to learn best by reading and you were a visual learner, would you relate differently to your mentee? Communication and learning styles can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks inside a mentoring relationship. By having a pulse on your mentoring partner’s style and reaffirming your own, you can be much more effective working towards your goals and building your relationship.
3. Ask your partner questions that affirm how much you care.
By asking your mentee the right questions, you validate and affirm his/her concerns. You show your mentee that you understand and you help him/her gain insight into a problem.
4. Do not be afraid to say that you don’t know.
If you do not have the answer to a question your mentee has asked or lack the expertise, be up front with her about it. You will gain credibility with your mentee by being honest. If you don’t have someone within your immediate network who can help, consider making some inquiries to see if someone you know might be able to connect you with someone that can help. This is a great way for mentors to build and increase their own networks.
5. Reflect upon your conversations with your match.
Discuss your observations after spending time together. To make this a meaningful experience for both of you and to give the relationship some direction, consider some of these questions:
What are the goals of this young person? How will I help her achieve them? Will give him/her something to read or review? Is there some research that I should suggest that he/she do? Are there colleagues or friends that your mentee could connect with to get the information that he/she needs?
What are my goals? Can this be a win/win relationship? What am I gaining from this relationship? If my goal is to become a better listener and leader, how will I know if I am making progress?
What are the specific ways that I can be of assistance to the young person I am mentoring?
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